Trying to get the feeling again

My friend Lovechild Firecat recently posted a collaboration between us on YAP and I made the mistake of going in to check it out. The same people who reported me out of there (for doing what THEY do but not as maliciously) were still ranting against me. Wow, Santa, thanks for the present, now bite me. All they wanted was me gone, but they (Bannibal and Humpty Dumpty) seem miserable EVEN WITHOUT ME!

I had frankly forgotten about the fracas around the collaboration, but this Karen Carpenter song came on as I was driving home from work last night, and with slightly modified lyrics, it seemed to me to be about me and poetry. I used to love poetry before I associated it with mentally challenged folks trying to eek some self-importance out of their anonymous flailings. [Before anyone gets too upset, that just as well describes me as them, so I am being realistic, not prejudicial. 

I have been taught the spiritual axiom that when someone else's behavior bothers me it is MY BEHAVIOR IN THEM that I am criticizing. They complain (months after I have moved on) that I am an angry, vindictive, miserable person, too wrapped up in my ego to be a human being. Who were they describing again?

I wish them well, I wish everyone in YAP and the universe well. I am not angry anymore, because the source of my anger (YAP) is not in my life anymore. I am just sad because they took with it my respect for the power of words. Its all just propaganda to me now.

How can I renew my love of poetry?

Tryin' To Get The Feeling Again,  Carpenters

(Words and music by David Pomeranz)

I've been up, down, tryin' to get the feeling again

All around tryin' to get the feeling again

That one that made me shiver 
Make my knees start to quiver

every time I walk in...

I've looked high, low, everywhere I possibly can

But there's just no tryin' to get the feeling again

It seemed to disappear 
as fast at it came...

I've read every book, looked for every meditation and poem

Just to bring home that old sweet sensation

But it ain't no use to me to try to get the feeling again

When did it leave me?

How did I come to miss use such a beautiful burning?

But baby believe me, I've done everything I can do

But somehow it's not returnin'

I've been up, down, tryin' to get the feeling again

Like a bloodhound, searching for a long lost friend

Could you help me rediscover 
The way to re-be a lover once again

I've read every book...

...could you help me rediscover 
The way to re-be a lover once again?

I've read every book, looked for every meditation and poem...

...to try to get the feeling I wanna get that feeling again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0qH0azJw-w